Do you ever head out the door and, all of a sudden have a second thought that’s something like “Ugh, I should have worn something else…”? You replay all the other options in your closet—the jeans you love, that breezy top you forgot about—and suddenly feel like you’ve made the wrong choice. I can’t count how many times I’ve done this. Sometimes I tell myself I need a total clothing overhaul. Then I head back into my closet, determined to reorganize my clothes and figure out what feels right because when I really slow down, I realize it’s not just about the clothes—it’s about the season of life I’m in, and how my body is changing. And the thing I am learning especially during perimenopause and menopause: getting dressed isn’t just about fashion. It’s about feeling.
Perimenopause and menopause can make something as simple as getting dressed feel surprisingly loaded. What once fit without a second thought now pinches or clings. Fabrics that used to feel soft against my skin might suddenly irritate me! And behind all of that is the quiet grief of not quite recognizing my own reflection.
If you’ve stood in your closet looking at yourself in your full length mirror like I have (maybe with tears welling up or just disbelief), please hear me: You are not alone. And there’s nothing wrong with you.
It’s truly comforting for me to think of intuitive eating here- because it’s really about listening to your body without judgment. Honoring hunger. Respecting fullness. Savoring satisfaction. And that same approach can help when you’re getting dressed.
Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into an old idea of what you “should” wear, or what size you “should” be, you can pause and ask: What feels good right now?
Our bodies are wise and resilient, and they change—sometimes faster than we’re ready for. Hormonal shifts can affect weight distribution, skin texture, and how we feel in our own skin. And while it can be frustrating, it’s also deeply human. Just like eating in tune with hunger cues, dressing intuitively is about responding to what you need today, without guilt.
My style doesn’t have to fit neatly into a box—or into old jeans or a skirt. And sometimes, finding what feels good means reorganizing my closet, and asking: Does this feel comfortable on my body today? If the answer is no, it’s okay to let it go.
If you’re in the middle of this season, know that it’s okay to grieve and give yourself the space to feel that. It’s okay to feel frustrated. But also give yourself permission to explore what feels good right now and remember: your worth has nothing to do with the size stitched into a label. You are still you—beautiful, strong, and deserving of comfort.
And if today happens to be one of those days when nothing feels right, be gentle with yourself. Pull on your softest robe. Light a candle. Take a breath. Offer your body gratitude for all it’s carried you through.
Start there. Start with kindness. And start with whatever feels good—for you—today. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com