Cravings

✨ Cravings, Comfort, and the Wisdom of Intuitive Eating

It was lunchtime, and I was craving a crunchy salad from the overpriced corner diner in my neighborhood. It’s a splurge I make every once in a while because, honestly, sometimes food just tastes better when someone else prepares it. There’s something about being served, the friendly smile from the waitress, the simple act of being cared for, that feels comforting and deeply satisfying. Comfort food, I’ve realized, isn’t always about the food itself; it’s about the feeling that comes with it.

As I sat there, fork in hand, I started thinking about cravings: how they show up, what they mean, and how often we try to dismiss or outsmart them. For so long, cravings have been framed as something to resist or control. But when we approach eating through the lens of intuition, cravings become something different altogether. They become information, an invitation to listen more closely.

Every craving has a story to tell. Sometimes it’s physical, a signal from the body asking for nourishment or balance. Other times, it’s emotional, a longing for comfort, connection, or even rest. That craving for the salad wasn’t just about greens and vinaigrette. It was about slowing down, taking a pause in my day, and allowing myself to be cared for, even in a small way.

Intuitive eating invites us to approach cravings with curiosity rather than judgment. Instead of asking, “How do I make this craving go away?” try asking, “What is this craving trying to tell me?” Often, what we find beneath the surface has little to do with the food itself. A craving for something sweet might speak to a need for comfort or joy. A craving for something salty or crunchy might reflect stress or the desire to release tension. And sometimes, a craving simply says, “I want this right now.” And that’s reason enough.

The practice of intuitive eating teaches that honoring our cravings helps rebuild trust with our bodies. Over time, the noise of diet rules and food labels, “good,” “bad,” “should,” and “shouldn’t” begins to quiet. And in its place, we come to learn there is a steadier sense of knowing what feels right in the moment.

Take a moment to reflect on a craving you’ve had recently. What might it have been asking for? Nourishment, comfort, a pause, or maybe a bit of connection?

That salad from the diner may have been overpriced, but it was exactly what I wanted. It hit the spot, not just physically, but emotionally too. And with Halloween just around the corner, if a piece of candy stirs memories of childhood, give yourself permission to enjoy it. Unwrap it and trust that honoring your craving is a way of honoring yourself.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your cravings or unsure how to trust your body’s cues, I’d love to support you. Reach out to schedule a session with me at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

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Connection

✨ This Week’s Reflection

Nourishment Through Connection

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how connection nourishes us in ways that go far beyond the plate. Sometimes it’s the moments shared with a friend, and sometimes it’s the quiet check-in we offer ourselves. Both matter deeply.

A recent lunch with an old friend reminded me just how fulfilling it can be to share time, conversation, and presence with someone who truly gets you. I know I’ve written about the power of connection before, but it continues to show up in new ways in my life, like a constant reminder of how essential it is to our well-being.

Seeing my friend, we immediately hugged, you know the kind: the two-armed embrace that makes you feel so loved. We sat down to eat, and our conversation flowed easily as we caught up on our joys, our challenges, and everything in between. When the waitress stopped by to ask if we were enjoying our food, we realized we’d barely touched our plates. The connection itself had become the meal. The nourishment was in the exchange of words, the warmth of laughter, and the comfort of being seen and understood.

That afternoon reminded me that our appetites reach far beyond the physical. We often think of hunger as something that happens in our stomachs, but intuitive eating invites us to look through a wider lens andto recognize that we also crave belonging, intimacy, safety, and joy. These are forms of nourishment that sustain us just as deeply as food does.

And yet, connection isn’t only about others. It’s also about the relationship we have with ourselves. When we feel disconnected, it’s easy to reach for something to fill the emptiness, whether that’s food, distraction, or busyness. But sometimes, what we truly need is a moment of stillness. A moment to pause, take a breath, and ask ourselves, “What am I really needing right now?”

That kind of honesty can be deeply nourishing. It helps us reconnect with our own inner rhythms, our emotions, and our needs. It allows us to care for ourselves in ways that are both compassionate and sustainable.

There’s nothing wrong with finding comfort in food. I cherish my matzo ball soup that reminds me of my grandmother, and the chocolate cake that celebrates birthdays. But when we listen to the deeper layers of our hunger, we often discover that what we’re really craving is connection to others, to ourselves, and to something greater that reminds us we belong.

That time with my friend reminded me how full we can feel simply by being with someone, listening, sharing, and being present. There was no rush to finish our plates. We were nourished in a different way.

Connection feeds our spirits. It grounds us, softens us, and helps us feel whole. And when we’re connected, to ourselves and to others, we can approach food and our bodies with greater trust, ease, and compassion.

This week, notice the moments of connection that fill you up: a conversation over coffee, a shared meal, or a few quiet minutes with yourself. These, too, are forms of nourishment.

If you’ve been feeling a bit disconnected lately, whether from your body, your food, or yourself, I’d love to support you. I am a licensed social worker and Intuitive Eating Counselor, and I am passionate about helping women rediscover joy and trust in their relationship with food and body. I offer virtual sessions and share reflections on living with intention, balance, and kindness. Contact me at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

Reflections

I woke up earlier than usual this morning. It was still dark outside my bedroom window. Rather than tossing and turning, I got out of bed, washed my face and brushed my teeth, drank my bottle of water with my daily vitamins and made my coffee. Journaling and sitting in the stillness of the morning, waiting patiently for the sun to rise is a simple pleasure. This morning I started to reflect on how much my relationship with food, and with myself, has shifted over time.

In my “earlier life” (before I began truly working on my relationship with food and my body image), I often thought of eating in terms of rules: what I should or shouldn’t have, how much was “too much,” and whether I’d “earned” something indulgent. Those thoughts were so normalized through diet culture that I hardly noticed them. But now, happily, I find myself drawn to a gentler, more intuitive rhythm.

I have tossed away old narratives about my body, unhelpful habits and outdated beliefs, especially as I have experienced hormonal changes that allow me to be a bit kinder to myself. For me, listening has become a kind of daily practice. Some days, it means noticing when I’m truly hungry versus when I just want to graze. Other days, it’s recognizing that I might need to lay down and rest more than “going going going”. And there are some days I want to walk outside and notice the signs and sounds of nature as it feels better to me than my gym routine. It’s tuning in, even when my body feels unpredictable. This stage of my life feels less like a set of guidelines. I’m realizing that intuitive eating extends far beyond the plate. It’s a philosophy of self-care that honors the whole person.

I am not gonna lie (to you or to myself), that there is also a sense of mourning that can come with these transitions—the letting go of how things used to be. But alongside that loss, there’s a greater desire to reconnect with myself and feel tremendous joy.

When I think about it, this stage feels like a recalibration. It’s not about “getting back” to who I was, but about growing into who I am now with presence, compassion, and respect for the natural seasons of change.

If you’re walking through a similar time, whether it’s menopause, a shift in identity, or another life transition, perhaps this is your reminder to pause, breathe, and listen inward. Your body is still speaking. The language may have changed, but the message remains the same: you are worthy of care, nourishment, and trust.

I’d love to hear from you: how has your relationship with food or your body evolved as you’ve moved through different life stages? I am a licensed social worker and Intuitive Eating Counselor and I am passionate about helping women rediscover joy and trust in their relationship with food and body. I offer virtual sessions and share reflections on living with intention, balance, and kindness. Contact me at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

Choosing Joy

Choosing Joy in Everyday Moments

Today, I had one of those little moments that stopped me in my tracks. I went in to buy a pair of earrings ( I needed another pair of earrings like I needed another hole in my ear!) and the manager who could have easily leaned into sales tactics was refreshingly genuine. He didn’t try to convince me to buy something I didn’t need. He was simply honest, straightforward, and kind.

It wasn’t a dramatic encounter, but I walked away smiling. I was happier with his honesty than with a pair of earrings that I didn’t need or suit me! That small interaction lingered with me the rest of the day, reminding me how good it feels to meet honesty and authenticity in a world that often feels noisy and pressured.

I’ve always thought of myself as a glass-half-full kind of gal, but lately, I’ve been practicing being more intentional about noticing these small wins, the fleeting, ordinary joys. Because life is heavy at times. There’s no denying the tragedies and losses that unfold around us, and I don’t want to dismiss those realities. But I also don’t want them to eclipse the moments of joy that are still here, waiting to be noticed.

That store interaction became my answer to a question I’ve been practicing: “What brings you joy today?”

Some days, the answer is big: a reunion with a childhood friend, a birthday celebration or traveling to a place that you have always dreamed of! Other days, it’s small: buying sunflowers, feeling soothed and relaxed after a warm shower, or making my morning coffee with oat milk that foams just right. Joy doesn’t always have to be loud; sometimes it’s found in the tiniest details.

This question has even shaped the way I approach food and my body. Intuitive eating, at its heart, is about tuning in—to hunger, fullness, satisfaction, and yes, joy. The crunch of a crisp apple, the smell of fresh bread, and the permission I give myself to savor a chocolate cupcake without guilt are often joy-full moments! Food isn’t only physical fuel—it’s emotional nourishment too. When I allow joy to be part of my eating experience, I notice how it helps me build trust with myself and my body.

What’s beautiful is how this question grows with us. In young adulthood, joy might look like late-night pizza with friends, celebrating independence, or trying something new for the first time. In midlife, it might mean slowing down—family meals around the table, honoring traditions, or allowing yourself to lay down on the couch and take a nap, finally listening to what your body needs instead. Our definitions of joy shift with each stage of life, just as our relationship with food and body shifts.

It’s easy, especially in times of change, whether you’re moving into adulthood or navigating the transitions of midlife, to feel untethered. To lose sight of ourselves in the busyness, the expectations, and the noise. But asking “What brings me joy today?” can be a way of re-centering. A reminder that joy is grounding and necessary.

So today, I’m grateful for that store manager who chose honesty over pressure. For the reminder that joy doesn’t need to shout; it often whispers. My hope is to keep noticing those whispers: in food, in relationships, and in the everyday rhythms of life.

And now I’ll turn the question to you: What brought you joy today? As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Reset

Resetting Your Mind and Body

I’m willing to bet we’ve all been there—a weekend (or even a single day) of more than usual. A food splurge, a shopping spree, a late night with friends, or a stretch of skipped workouts. In the moment it feels fun and full, but afterward our bodies and minds often remind us that too much of a good thing is not a good thing!

For me, these “binges” feel stronger these days. Hormonal shifts in midlife have a way of amplifying the highs and lows, making me more aware of what my body needs, and what throws it out of balance.

Not long ago, I had one of those weekends. Friday night began with a lovely Shabbat dinner. We poured a little more wine than planned, tore into the challah with extra enthusiasm, and lingered long at the table. Saturday brought dinner with friends, complete with appetizers, a main course, and a dessert platter I couldn’t resist. We stayed up too late, and by Sunday morning, I woke up feeling puffy, sluggish, and heavy in my body.

Years ago, that Sunday would have looked very different. My old instinct was to “punish” myself for “overdoing it.” I’d set strict rules: no sweets for a time, only salads, longer workouts at the gym. At the time I thought I was being disciplined, but really, I was layering guilt and shame onto an already tired body.

Now, things look different. Menopause has taught me that my body doesn’t bounce back quite as quickly, and surprisingly, I found a gift in this. It has forced me to slow down, to listen, to realize that recovery isn’t about undoing what I ate or drank. It’s about responding with care. Too much sugar leaves me foggy, late nights unravel my sleep for days, and skipping movement shows up in my mood as much as my muscles. None of this means I’ve failed. It just means my body is speaking up.

That particular Sunday, I tried something new. I made my coffee, layed on my couch, and gave myself permission to move slowly. I noticed I wasn’t hungry right away, so I waited until mid-morning to make breakfast. Later, I went for a walk, not to “burn off” the challah or the chocolate brownie, but to breathe, stretch, and remind my body that I was listening. By the afternoon, I felt steadier. Not 100%, but closer to myself.

These days, this is what resetting means to me. It’s not about restriction or payback. It’s about asking: What do I need right now to feel more like myself? Sometimes the answer is an outdoor walk, a crisp salad, a simple meal of  eggs and toast, and by the end of the evening, an early bedtime. 

What I’ve learned is that gentle resets are far more powerful than harsh rules. They rebuild trust with myself, with my body, with the process of living in a rhythm that honors my mind and body. I’d love to know—when you’ve had your own version of “too much,” how do you bring yourself back into balance? As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

The Power of Being Direct

The Power of Being Direct—With Others and With Ourselves

I was talking with a friend recently about a project she had just wrapped up at work. She had poured weeks of energy into it—staying late, troubleshooting problems, and stepping in to help others when things got stressful. By the time it wrapped up, she was exhausted but also proud of what she had accomplished. What she really wanted was acknowledgment, a simple “thank you” or recognition for the ways she went above and beyond her role.

But here’s the part she struggled with: being direct enough to ask for that acknowledgment. Instead of voicing her need, she found herself waiting, hoping her coworkers would notice and speak up. When they didn’t, she felt frustrated and unseen.

That conversation stayed with me. It reminded me of how many of us find directness uncomfortable. Not the kind of directness that cuts people off or bulldozes through nuance, but the honest, grounded kind. The kind that says: Here is what I need. Here is what I want. Here is what feels right for me.

For many of us, that kind of honesty feels risky. We’ve been taught to soften our words, to pad our requests, to wait and see what others want before daring to express our own needs. We fear that being direct will make us come across as demanding, selfish, or “too much.” But I’m learning that directness—when it comes from a place of clarity and respect—isn’t selfish at all. It’s actually a gift.

Directness removes the guessing game. It clears the air. It allows for authentic connection. Without it, so much gets lost in the silence—resentment builds, misunderstandings multiply, and we end up feeling distant from one another when what we truly crave is closeness.

And here’s where it beautifully connects with intuitive eating.

When we practice intuitive eating, we are invited to be direct with ourselves. To tune in, notice what’s happening in our bodies, and name it plainly. Am I hungry? Am I full? Do I want something crunchy and salty, or soft and sweet? Do I need a full meal or just a little snack?

There’s no dancing around it. No “I should be hungry by now” or “I should pick the salad because it’s healthier.” Instead, there’s a clear, honest response: This is what my body is asking for right now.

It sounds simple, but this kind of honesty with ourselves can feel surprisingly vulnerable. Sometimes what we want surprises us. Sometimes it doesn’t match what others expect—or even what we expect of ourselves. Maybe you crave cereal for dinner when everyone else is having pasta. Maybe you’re simply not hungry at noon when the rest of the office is pulling out lunches. Directness in those moments means honoring what’s true for you, even when it doesn’t line up with the script.

Being direct with ourselves is also an act of trust. It’s saying: I trust my body to know. I trust myself enough to listen. And when we carry that kind of directness into our relationships, it becomes: I trust you enough to tell you the truth.

I think the two are deeply intertwined. If I can’t be direct with myself—naming my hunger, my needs, my boundaries—it’s much harder to be direct with others. But the more I practice honesty inwardly, the more natural it becomes to practice honesty outwardly.

Of course, directness doesn’t mean rigidity. Just like intuitive eating isn’t about perfection, directness isn’t about always knowing exactly what we need right away. Sometimes clarity takes time. Directness is simply about speaking plainly once we do.

In a world that often asks us to perform, please, or fit in, directness can feel radical. Yet it is also deeply human. Whether it’s choosing what to eat or choosing how to speak, being direct is a way of saying: I matter. My needs matter. My truth matters.

I’m curious—how does being direct show up in your own life? Do you notice a connection between speaking your truth and listening to your body? I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Permission to Pause

Permission to Pause: A Wednesday in the Mess

It was a Wednesday afternoon, and my day felt like a juggling act that had gone a little sideways. I had a few loads of laundry to do. My phone kept buzzing with reminders: pick up something for dinner, confirm an appointment, reply to a friend who had left me a voicemail. A work project sat open on my laptop, but every time I typed a sentence, I’d remember something else I was supposed to be doing.

And to be fair, none of it was dramatic. Just the ordinary stuff of life piling up in the middle of a week.

At some point, I caught myself moving from task to task without really finishing anything. I’d open the fridge, close it, shuffle a pile of mail from one counter to another, check my email, and then immediately forget what I was looking at. That hamster-wheel kind of busyness where you’re expending a lot of energy but not actually getting anywhere.

That’s when I did something that felt almost rebellious: I went for a walk and sat down on a park bench. With nothing in my hands, just a bottle of water.

Of course, the guilt showed up right on time. Really? You’re just sitting here? It’s Wednesday afternoon. People are working, errands aren’t done, and you’re sitting in the park? The voice was sharp, insistent, and familiar.

But here’s the truth: I was tired. Not collapse-into-bed tired, but the kind of tired where your brain feels foggy, where even simple tasks feel heavier than they should. I realized I could keep pushing through, but the quality of whatever I did next would probably suffer. So I stayed put, even as that guilty voice chattered on.

And you know what? Sitting outside in the fresh air, I started to breathe a little deeper. My shoulders dropped. The frantic energy slowed. It wasn’t glamorous. I didn’t suddenly feel serene or enlightened. But I felt steadier.

We don’t talk much about this kind of rest, the ordinary, unpolished pauses in the middle of chaos. It’s easier to romanticize downtime when it looks like a quiet weekend away or a cozy retreat. But most of us don’t get that kind of rest on a Wednesday. What we get are stolen moments: five minutes on the couch, an extra lap around the block, letting ourselves put the phone on silent for half an hour.

I’m learning those messy pauses matter too. They remind me I don’t have to earn rest by finishing everything first. They remind me that downtime doesn’t cancel my responsibilities, it actually helps me return to them with more clarity.

So yes, the laundry is still waiting to get washed. The emails still needed answers. Dinner ended up being grilled cheese and salad, and it was more than fine. But after that pause, I had enough energy to tackle one thing at a time instead of spinning in circles.

Sometimes, “doing nothing” in the middle of the week is exactly the something we need most.

What about you? Do you ever just stop in the middle of a busy day, even when the to-do list is screaming at you? I’d love to hear the little ways you carve out downtime. Is it messy, imperfect, or otherwise. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Addiction and Intuitive Eating

I still remember sitting in my college dorm room with a giant bag of peanut M&M’s perched on my desk. I had told myself I’d only eat a handful while I studied, but before I knew it, my hand kept reaching back into the bag. You know how it goes, over and over until I’d eaten most of it without really noticing until it was too late! I can recall the familiar mix of satisfaction and shame that washed over me! Ugh! 

At times, that feeling has followed me into adulthood in different ways. Most recently, it showed up in the form of those heart-shaped marshmellows from a nearby candy store. I don’t even really eat candy except I bought them on a whim. I found myself sneaking into the bowl to grab a few more, and then a few more again. It wasn’t like I was even especially hungry or even craving them. But, there was something about the texture, taste and sweet smell that pulled me toward them.If I’m honest, it felt a little like being addicted.

For years, I believed that was the truth: that certain foods had a kind of power over me. M&M’s, twizlers, crunchy granola. I’d laugh to myself that I couldn’t be trusted around them. Diet culture reinforced that story, too. If I couldn’t “control” myself, it must mean those foods were dangerous and needed to be “off limits”. So I’d swing between two extremes: total avoidance (keeping them out of the house) or all-out indulgence. 

I knew that this wasn’t “healthy” and it wasn’t until I started practicing intuitive eating that I began to see things differently. What I had labeled as “addiction” was really deprivation in disguise. When foods are restricted—whether physically (not allowing myself to eat them) or mentally (telling myself I “shouldn’t” eat them)—they become louder, shinier, more urgent. It’s not addiction, it’s survival. My body and brain were trying to protect me from scarcity.

When I started allowing those foods without conditions, things slowly shifted. At first, I was skeptical. If I gave myself permission to eat M&M’s or heart gummies whenever I wanted, wouldn’t I just live on candy? But with time, the urgency began to soften. Knowing I could have them tomorrow, or the next day, meant I didn’t have to eat them all right now. Sometimes I still wanted a handful, and sometimes I didn’t. The food stopped feeling so powerful. And that felt good!

These days, when I notice that magnetic pull toward certain foods, I try to pause and ask myself: What’s really going on here? Sometimes it’s simple hunger. Sometimes it’s stress, fatigue, or the need for comfort. And sometimes it’s just that the candy is delicious and I genuinely want it. And that’s okay, too.

What I’ve learned is that I’m not actually addicted to food. I’m human. I’m learning to trust myself. And little by little, those once “forbidden” foods are just foods again—sweet, crunchy, chewy reminders that no single bite can define me.

But that’s my story. What about you? Have you ever felt that pull toward certain foods—the kind that makes you think, I can’t trust myself around this? How did it feel for you? I’d love to hear your stories, whether it’s about candy, chips, bread, or anything else. Share them with me—I promise, you’re not alone. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Another Family Remedy: Tea and Toast

Another Family Remedy: The Tea and Toast Trick

Oh, I am so excited at how the conversations keep growing! After I wrote about my friend’s grandmother and her “olive and an hour” remedy, several of you reached out with your own family wisdom. Each note felt like a reminder that food is never just about nutrients—it’s about connection and care.

One message stood out in particular. A reader wrote to tell me about her father’s favorite “reset” for days when food just didn’t feel appealing: tea and toast. That’s it. Nothing fancy, nothing complicated, just a slice of warm toast with a little butter or jam, and a cup of tea.

Her dad had said that it wasn't meant to be a full meal, and it certainly wasn’t about nutrition labels or food rules. Her dad’s reasoning was simple: toast is comforting, tea is soothing, and together they almost always help bring the appetite back online. It was his “go-to” whenever someone in the house felt “off”, not sick, exactly, but not fully themselves either. It was the kind of meal that said, You don’t have to figure it all out right now. Just be here now.

I loved this story because it captures something so true about intuitive eating: sometimes, the goal isn’t to get it “just right.” Sometimes, the goal is simply to take one small step back toward nourishment. Tea and toast won’t solve every off day, but it’s a gentle way of saying, I hear you, body. Let’s start small.

It also reminded me that comfort food has a place in intuitive eating. For so long, diet culture has painted comfort foods as indulgent or “bad.” But here’s the reality: comfort is part of nourishment. Sometimes what we need isn’t the “perfectly balanced plate” but the warmth of something familiar.

I’ve tried the tea and toast trick myself since hearing about it, and I have to say—it works. It doesn’t magically tell me what my next meal should be, but it shifts me from feeling stuck to feeling comforted.

These little family remedies—whether it’s olives, tea and toast, or whatever quirky tradition your family has—aren’t meant to be rules. They’re tools, ways to reconnect when the path feels a little fuzzy. They remind us that eating doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing.

So if you find yourself in that space where nothing sounds quite right, maybe give tea and toast a try. Or pull out your own family’s version of a “reset food.” Let it remind you that sometimes, the smallest step can be the most powerful one.

And of course, I’d love to keep hearing from you. Do you have another remedy tucked away in your family’s kitchen wisdom? Share it with me—I have a feeling this collection of stories is just beginning. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

“Family Remedies and Intuitive Eating: Finding Clarity in the Pause”

One of my favorite parts of writing this blog is hearing from you, whether it’s through an email, a quick message, or even a phone call. I love hearing how my words connect with your own experiences. It always reminds me that these conversations about food, body, and self are truly shared journeys.

Just the other day, a friend called after reading my post “When Your Mind and Body Feel Out of Sync: Navigating Intuitive Eating on ‘Off’ Days.” She wanted to tell me about a little piece of wisdom passed down in her family. Her grandmother’s advice was simple: “If you’re hungry but don’t know what you want, open the fridge, eat an olive, and wait an hour. By then, you’ll know what you’re craving.” She swore it worked every time! I loved the simplicity of that gentle pause.

What struck me most about her story wasn’t just the olive (though I admit, it made me want to go out and buy a jar immediately), but the underlying wisdom. It was a reminder that sometimes the best remedies are the simplest ones. When we feel disconnected from our appetite, when our body says, “feed me,” but our mind shrugs and says, “I don’t know what I want”, it can be frustrating. We live in a world where eating is often rushed, distracted, or influenced by external rules, so finding ourselves in that pause of “not knowing” can feel uncomfortable.

But here’s where her grandmother’s advice shines: it encourages curiosity without pressure. Eat something small, give your body a moment, and trust that clarity will come. That’s essentially what intuitive eating is about: creating enough space to listen in, instead of forcing a quick fix.

I think so many of us have family remedies like this. It is these little pearls of wisdom passed down from mothers, grandmothers, or friends. They may not be written in a nutrition textbook, but they carry their own kind of nourishment. They connect us not just to food, but to memory, heritage, and the people who cared for us.

For me, that call was also a reminder that intuitive eating doesn’t always have to be complicated. It’s not about getting it “perfect.” Sometimes it’s as simple as an olive and an hour. Sometimes it’s a piece of fruit while you wait for your true hunger to speak more clearly. Sometimes it’s even letting yourself admit, “I don’t know what I feel like yet, but I’ll figure it out.” That kind of permission can be so freeing.

So next time you find yourself staring into the fridge with that fuzzy feeling of blah, not quite sure what your body wants, maybe try the olive trick. Or your own version of it. And more importantly, remember that you’re not alone in those moments. We’re all learning, pausing, and listening together. And sometimes, it’s those very pauses that bring the sweetest clarity.

I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a family food remedy, a quirky little tip, or a tradition that helps guide you back to your body? Share it with me! Your stories inspire not only me, but also this whole community of readers walking the path of intuitive eating right alongside you. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

When Your Mind and Body Feel Out of Sync: Navigating Intuitive Eating on “Off” Days

She wasn’t feeling like eating. Not in the “I’m so full from brunch” kind of way but more like her mind had quietly shut off her appetite. The spark just wasn’t there. She felt… blah. That much she had connected.

But here’s the tricky part: she knew she needed to eat. Her logical brain was fully aware it had been hours since her last meal. In fact, she hadn’t eaten a single bite since dinner the night before, and now it was well past lunch. She had even gone to the store earlier and picked up some of her favorite foods, things that usually make her mouth water. And yet, the interest just… wasn’t there.

“Eat when you’re hungry,” the intuitive eating books and podcasts say. It sounds so simple. But what happens when you’re not hungry… and you still need to eat? When your mind and body feel connected enough to notice something’s off, but not connected enough to give you a clear answer?

This is where intuitive eating gets real.

We like to think of intuitive eating as a smooth, flowing dance between mind and body. A kind of conversation where hunger and fullness cues are crisp and clear. But sometimes, the lines get fuzzy. Stress, hormones, sleep deprivation, grief, anxiety, or just an “off” day can cloud those signals. The dots are there. You know you haven’t eaten, you know your body needs fuel, but the dots aren’t connecting in a way that leads to “I feel hungry, so I’ll eat now.”

Here’s the truth: intuitive eating isn’t just about chasing hunger cues. It’s also about caring for your body, even when those cues are quiet. Sometimes that means making the decision to eat simply because you know you’ll feel better if you do, even if you’re not craving anything specific.

So what do you do on days like this?

1. Start small. You don’t need a full, elaborate meal right away. Try something gentle on your stomach, like a piece of toast with nut butter, yogurt with berries, a smoothie, or a handful of crackers and cheese.

2. Choose familiar comfort foods. On low-appetite days, familiarity can be more inviting than novelty. Pick foods you associate with warmth, care, and ease rather than excitement or indulgence.

3. Remove the pressure. You’re not failing at intuitive eating because you’re not hungry. You’re practicing it by listening to your body’s overall needs, not just one signal.

4. Stay curious. Instead of frustration, approach it with curiosity: What might be dimming my appetite today? Am I tired? Anxious? Distracted? Simply asking can help bridge the mind-body gap.
   
   

Intuitive eating is about self-trust, but trust isn’t built only in the easy moments when everything clicks. It’s built in the messy moments too, the days when you eat because you care for yourself, not because you’re “hungry enough.”

Because sometimes, the most intuitive thing you can do… is simply take care of yourself. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Healthy Living at the Farmers Market

From Chips to Cherry Tomatoes: Finding Blance at Every Stage of Life

My mother has always eaten chips with her sandwiches—never with a salad. She calls them “chippies” with such affection you might think they’re health food. Apparently, it runs in the family, because my son and daughter do the exact same thing.

I try not to cringe as they crunch away. Outwardly, I’m calm; inwardly, I’m screaming, “Don’t you see how bad this is? It’s processed junk!” I “subtly” place a plate of freshly cut carrots, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes nearby, hoping they’ll reach for the rainbow instead of the ruffles. Sometimes it works. Sometimes… not so much. And I remind myself—a little junk won’t ruin them. Balance is the goal, not perfection.

Over time, I’ve learned my best “food persuasion” moments aren’t about lecturing but modeling. One of the ways I model a healthier, healing approach to eating is by shopping at local farmers markets.

There’s something magical about walking through one. Summer offers heirloom tomatoes in every shade of red and yellow, cucumbers that smell like the field, baskets of berries so sweet they barely make it home, and golden ears of corn. Fall brings crisp apples, hearty squash, and broccoli still on the stalk.

When my kids were younger, if they helped choose the food, they naturally ate more of it—no coaxing needed. Now that they’re older, they automatically cook with the fresh fruits and vegetables they’ve picked out themselves (I like to think my long game here made a difference!). 

Beyond flavor, farmers market produce supports the body through every stage of life:

• Young adulthood: Still building bone density and muscle mass, the body thrives on the vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants fresh produce provides for strong immunity and steady energy.

• Midlife: Hormonal shifts can affect metabolism, digestion, and mood. Seasonal produce offers fiber for gut health, phytonutrients for cell repair, and flavors that help you reconnect with food in a joyful way.

• Menopause and beyond: Nutrient-rich fruits and vegetables can support heart health, reduce inflammation, preserve muscle, and help stabilize mood.

Farmers markets also encourage intuitive eating—making food choices from curiosity and pleasure rather than rules. Instead of thinking, “I should eat more vegetables because they’re good for me,” you might think, “I want that peach because it smells like sunshine.” That’s when healthy habits stick—when they’re rooted in enjoyment, not obligation.

If you’re inspired to explore, you can find local markets almost anywhere both in the US and abroad. Just google local farmers markets near me. 

So yes, chips still make appearances at our table. But now they often sit alongside a bowl of fresh local produce. And that feels like a balance I can live with . As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Sunlight

Sunlight, Sanity, and Sandwiches: How the Outdoors Supports Intuitive Eating

To say that it’s been a hot summer is an understatement! Across the U.S. temperatures have been unusually intense, day after day. Some afternoons, the air feels more like soup than something we’re meant to breathe. I’ve spent more time than I’d like to admit hiding out in my living room, curtains drawn, A/C humming, and cold drink in hand. Honestly, it’s been kind of nice in that cocooned, sleepy way…until it wasn’t.

After a few too many days in a row, I noticed something: I felt off. Not physically sick, but emotionally sluggish. I even caught myself mindlessly munching more than usual—not out of hunger, but out of a strange sort of restlessness.

Sure, I had gotten outside to run errands but not enough to feel like I was “in nature”. And it got me thinking: maybe the lack of fresh air and sunlight had more to do with my mood (and even my eating) than I realized. 

Sunlight isn’t just about warmth or a tan. It plays a big role in our mental well-being. Exposure to natural light, especially in the morning. Sunlight helps regulate our circadian rhythm and boosts serotonin, which supports better mood, clearer thinking, and even steadier energy. All of which, by the way, are deeply connected to how we eat.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through intuitive eating is that food is never just about food. Often, when I feel ungrounded, I start reaching for snacks not because I’m physically hungry, but because I’m looking for comfort or distraction. There’s nothing wrong with emotional eating—it’s part of being human—but tuning into why we’re reaching for something can be a powerful form of self-awareness.

And nature, especially sunlight, can help bring us back to that awareness.

I’ve noticed a real difference on the days I make space to step outside, even briefly. Just 10–15 minutes of fresh air and sunlight makes it easier to check in with myself. Infact, I’m more connected to myself. 

Nature supports our ability to nourish ourselves—not through control or willpower, but through reconnection. Try stepping outside with your coffee tomorrow morning. Or a morning walk before the temperatures rise or even later in the day at dusk when the heat calms down. Let yourself just be—no agenda, no guilt. Your body, your mind, your appetite... they just might thank you.

Healing Bad Body Image Moments

Healing Bad Body Image Moments: A Compassionate Relationship with Your Body

Have you ever really stopped to think about your relationship with your body. I am not referring to just how it looks, but how you relate to it? I once heard that our relationship with our body is the longest one we’ll ever have. Longer than any friendship, marriage, job, or home. 

I don’t know about you, but I speak to my body constantly! I hate to admit it, but I find myself criticizing, ignoring, and sometimes even shaming my body. But what if I (we) treated our body more like a relationship we value and nurture? One with space for dialogue, forgiveness, and mutual respect? What if we started to speak to our bodies with support and pride?

Not living under a rock, we have done some unlearning around diet culture and even to some extent embraced body positivity. But that doesn’t mean we’re immune to tough moments. They sneak up on us—trying on clothes that suddenly don’t fit quite right, catching our reflection on a day we’re already feeling vulnerable, scrolling through perfectly filtered images on social media. That inner critic? She can be loud.

I still have days when I struggle. Days when clothes feel off or I catch my reflection and the critique kicks in fast. And in those moments, I’ve started asking myself a different kind of question: What’s really going on here?

Because often, the issue isn’t my body at all. It’s something deeper. Feelings of stress, being overwhelmed, insecurity, or just feeling disconnected. When I take a moment to get curious instead of critical, everything shifts. That simple pause, that moment of checking in, is an act of care.

Here’s a practice I have been working towards often: instead of diving into self-criticism, I start an internal conversation. “I’m noticing I’m feeling off in my body today. What else might be happening? What do I really need right now?” This inquiry may not “fix” the moment, but it builds trust. It reminds me I can come back to myself with kindness, again and again.

So what do I “do”? Sometimes for me, the answer is movement. I will go for a walk, or go to the gym or or even lying on the floor and taking in breaths. This is not to change how I look, but to reconnect. Other times, creativity brings me back—writing, reading, cooking, a phone call to a friend.

Bad moments will still come, but they don’t define your whole story. You are allowed to repair. You are allowed to come back to yourself. And over time, you might just discover a relationship with your body that feels like home.

As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Nutrition and Aging

I wish I could go back in time and tell my 20-something self a few things about nutrition—and about how our bodies change as we age. Back then, I was chasing “health” through diets, food rules, and the constant pressure to be thinner.

Now, as someone who’s entered the menopausal chapter of life, I see it so differently. Aging well isn’t about perfect eating, or fighting your body’s changes. It’s about building a relationship with food that’s flexible, kind, and sustainable for life.

In your 20s, your body might feel strong and resilient. You can bounce back after late nights and pizza runs. But diet culture still sneaks in. Maybe you’re counting calories, skipping carbs, or chasing an ideal weight you think will make everything fall into place. The truth is, restricting or labeling foods “good” or “bad” can set you up for a lifelong struggle. It’s exhausting. And it doesn’t prepare you for the reality that bodies do change—and that’s not a failure.

Fast forward a couple decades, and here comes menopause. Hormones fluctuate, metabolism shifts, and your body might feel foreign. You may feel hungrier, or crave different foods, or notice weight redistributing. I have seen diet culture make attempts to swoop in and sell you detoxes or miracle plans. But please hear me: menopause isn’t a problem to “fix.” It’s a transition. You deserve nourishment, not punishment.

As I think about this, across the decades, here’s what truly matters for aging well:

• Eat consistently. Skipping meals or restricting leads to energy crashes, cravings, and stress. Whether you’re 25 or 55, your body thrives on regular fuel.
  
  

• Honor hunger and fullness. This sounds simple, but diet culture trains us to ignore these cues. Practice checking in with your body, not external rules.
  
  

• Include protein and fiber. Especially in menopause, protein helps maintain muscle, and fiber supports digestion and keeps you fuller longer. Remember, there’s no single “perfect” way to eat.
  
  

• Enjoy food emotionally and physically. Food isn’t just fuel. Food is  comfort, connection, abd pleasure. You’re allowed to enjoy a slice of cake without guilt.
  
  

• Be gentle with yourself. Bodies shift shape and size through the decades. That’s normal. It doesn’t mean you’re failing.
  
  

Aging well isn’t about defying time or fitting back into jeans from college. It’s about having the energy to live your life, feeling comfortable in your skin, and savoring food without fear.

Whether you’re building habits in your 20s or navigating menopause, the best gift you can give yourself is compassion—and permission to nourish your body with care, not criticism.

As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Vacation Food Stress

Vacation Food Stress at Any Age: You’re Not Alone. And You Deserve Joy!

I have a confession to make: even after years of unlearning diet culture, and even after helping others do the same, I still sometimes hear that little voice pipe up when I’m getting ready for a vacation.

It doesn’t matter if you’re in your 20s or your 50s (or anywhere in between): vacations have a way of stirring up all our old worries. Questions start swirling in our minds: Will there be “healthy” options? Will I be able to work out? Will I gain weight? Will my clothes feel tight when I get home?

Everywhere we look from your Instagram feeds, to magazines, and wellness programs, someone is offering tips on how to “stay on track” while traveling, as though vacations are dangerous territory we must navigate perfectly. If we don’t, it’s implied that we’ve somehow failed.

For younger women, there’s often the pressure to look a certain way in vacation photos, to appear effortlessly fit and happy. For women going through menopause, there’s a different layer of vulnerability: our bodies may already be changing in ways we didn’t expect, and the idea of a trip adding more change can feel overwhelming.

The truth is, diet culture doesn’t discriminate by age. It’s relentless. But here’s something I want you to hear: your body deserves respect and nourishment on vacation, just like it does at home.

I remember one trip years ago when I packed half my carry-on with protein bars and “safe” snacks, just in case. I’d find myself thinking, Should I eat the pasta? What about a chocolate croissant? If I skip dessert tonight, will that cancel out the pasta I want for lunch tomorrow?

I spent so much time and mental energy strategizing about food that I wasn’t fully present. Over time, I’ve learned that vacations should be about collecting experiences, not guilt. And that freedom takes practice. If you’re feeling nervous about food on your next trip, here are a few gentle tools that help me, and might help you, too:

✅ Watch Your Self-Talk
Instead of saying, “I’m going to blow it,” try, “I’m going to explore and enjoy.” Instead of, “I have to burn this off,” try, “I want to move my body because it feels good.” Your words shape your experience.

✅ Keep Gentle Routines
If total freedom feels scary, anchor your day with familiar habits, like a satisfying breakfast or a planned afternoon snack. It’s not about rigid rules. It’s about feeling grounded.

✅ Seek Non-Food Joy
Savor the things that have nothing to do with calories: the small town you are exploring, the hike you are taking, laughter with friends, and sunsets that make you forget your phone.

✅ Give Yourself Permission
You’re allowed to enjoy dessert, cocktails, or late-night gelato without promising yourself that you’ll “make up for it.”

✅ Extend Compassion
If you overeat or feel anxious, pause. Breathe. You’re not a failure. You’re a human being learning to trust yourself again.

Vacation food stress is real, but it doesn’t have to control your trip. At any age, you deserve pleasure, adventure, and memories that go far beyond what’s on your plate.

Here’s my wish for you: may your next trip be filled with kindness, to your body and your spirit. And if you’re still figuring it out, that’s okay. You’re not alone.

As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.

Me Time in My Closet

Do you ever head out the door and, all of a sudden have a second thought that’s something like “Ugh, I should have worn something else…”? You replay all the other options in your closet—the jeans you love, that breezy top you forgot about—and suddenly feel like you’ve made the wrong choice. I can’t count how many times I’ve done this. Sometimes I tell myself I need a total clothing overhaul. Then I head back into my closet, determined to reorganize my clothes and figure out what feels right because when I really slow down, I realize it’s not just about the clothes—it’s about the season of life I’m in, and how my body is changing. And the thing I am learning especially during perimenopause and menopause: getting dressed isn’t just about fashion. It’s about feeling. 

Perimenopause and menopause can make something as simple as getting dressed feel surprisingly loaded. What once fit without a second thought now pinches or clings. Fabrics that used to feel soft against my skin might suddenly irritate me! And behind all of that is the quiet grief of not quite recognizing my own reflection.

If you’ve stood in your closet looking at yourself in your full length mirror like I have (maybe with tears welling up or just disbelief), please hear me: You are not alone. And there’s nothing wrong with you.

It’s truly comforting for me to think of intuitive eating here- because it’s really about listening to your body without judgment. Honoring hunger. Respecting fullness. Savoring satisfaction. And that same approach can help when you’re getting dressed.

Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into an old idea of what you “should” wear, or what size you “should” be, you can pause and ask: What feels good right now?

Our bodies are wise and resilient, and they change—sometimes faster than we’re ready for. Hormonal shifts can affect weight distribution, skin texture, and how we feel in our own skin. And while it can be frustrating, it’s also deeply human. Just like eating in tune with hunger cues, dressing intuitively is about responding to what you need today, without guilt.

My style doesn’t have to fit neatly into a box—or into old jeans or a skirt. And sometimes, finding what feels good means reorganizing my closet, and asking: Does this feel comfortable on my body today? If the answer is no, it’s okay to let it go.

If you’re in the middle of this season, know that it’s okay to grieve and give yourself the space to feel that.  It’s okay to feel frustrated. But also give yourself permission to explore what feels good right now and remember: your worth has nothing to do with the size stitched into a label. You are still you—beautiful, strong, and deserving of comfort.

And if today happens to be one of those days when nothing feels right, be gentle with yourself. Pull on your softest robe. Light a candle. Take a breath. Offer your body gratitude for all it’s carried you through.

Start there. Start with kindness. And start with whatever feels good—for you—today. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

Inside-Out Body Confidence

There was a time when I was a teen that I didn’t like being so tall and everyone thought that resembled Twiggy, the 60’s cultural icon. Even at a young age, I believed my body’s value was directly tied to how I looked, specifically, how thin I was. Smaller jeans, smaller meals, smaller presence. I chased “skinny” like it was a prize—like achieving it would unlock some lasting confidence or peace.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t. 

Thankfully that was a long time ago.

Now, in this season of my life, I’m unlearning that old definition of success and replacing it with something more sustainable—healthy. Not “clean eating” obsessed or hyper-disciplined fitness routines, but true, holistic well-being. The kind that asks, How do I feel today? Not, How do I look?

Because here’s the truth I’ve come to: skinny doesn’t always mean healthy. And healthy doesn’t always mean skinny.

This shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from years of work. I can breathe with confidence that I have  finally learned to quiet my inner critic. It came from watching my body change through the various stages of hormonal life like perimenopause, menopause and recovery and realizing that what I really wanted wasn’t to look like I used to, but to feel good in my body again.

These days, I move my body not to burn calories or to shrink it, but to support it. I strength train because I love feeling strong and want to lift my cases of water and groceries without strain. I walk because fresh air feels good and I love smelling the flowers (despite my seasonal allergies!). I stretch because I need to warm my body up and metaphorically speaking “flexibility is freedom”. And I eat not to be “good,” but to feel nourished, clear-headed, and stable. 

There’s joy in this kind of care! A quiet confidence that doesn’t depend on fitting into an old dress or jeans or last summer's bathing suits, but feeling a sense of liberation from the constraints of diet culture. 

And let me say this clearly: you can want to feel good in your body without punishing it.

You can prioritize health without chasing thinness.
You can appreciate your body’s softness and its strength.
You can opt out of the constant striving and still be committed to care.

This mindset isn’t always celebrated. Even now, we’re flooded with messages telling us that smaller is better, that youth equals beauty, that menopause means decline. But I believe we’re allowed to rewrite the story. We’re allowed to say: my body is not a project. It’s my home. And I’m learning how to take better care of it—not because it needs fixing, but because it deserves my attention.

So if you’re tired of chasing skinny, I see you. I’ve been there. And I can tell you—there’s another way. It’s slower. Gentler. Quieter. And it’s also more lasting.

Let’s stop asking, “How do I look?” and start asking, “How do I feel?”

Let that be your new metric. Let that be your new motivation. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

Body Confidence More

Last week I heard from so many women who really connected with my post on “Body Confidence in the Age of Constant Reflection (and Menopause)”. Your messages moved me because I really get it. I do! Feeling at home in your body, especially as it changes, can feel like an uphill climb. So I’ve been sitting with all of this—your stories and my own—and I wanted to continue the conversation.

Learning to feel good in your body—really good—is not just about changing how she looks. It's about tending to both the inner dialogue and the outer care in a way that feels supportive, not punishing. It’s a layered practice: emotional, physical, and deeply personal. Wow, this is not easy. And I will be honest, for a long time, I focused only on the external. If I could just lose the weight, tone the muscle, fix this or that, then I’d feel confident. I wanted to look a certain way in hopes that I would “be” a different version of myself. But no matter how my body changed, that feeling of not being enough always lingered. But the real truth? Confidence doesn’t come from achieving a certain look. It comes from shifting your relationship with your body—from the inside and the outside.

Let’s start with the internal stuff. Think about what you say to yourself when you see your reflection, whether in your closet mirror, a store dressing room or outside walking and catch a glimpse of yourself in a window. Is it critical? Judgmental? Would you talk to your friend that way?

That voice—often critical and conditioned by years of cultural messaging—needs our attention. Not to silence it with fake positivity, but to soften it with compassion. This is where we can practice “Somatic Respect” -a concept that involves recognizing and attending to bodily sensations, emotions, and needs as valid and valuable sources of information for personal growth and well-being. Respecting what your body has gone through (in my most recent case overcoming back surgery) and what it does for you (like walking up the flight of stairs) is pretty amazing! Practices like mindfulness, intuitive eating, and journaling are tools that can help you practice somatic respect. You start to catch those old scripts (“you should be thinner,” “you looked better before”) and replace them with something more kind and curious: “How am I feeling today? What do I need?” Ok, I know that affirmations can feel cheesy at first, but actually, over time, they rewire how we speak to ourselves. Saying, “I am more than a body,” or “My worth is not tied to how I look,” might not click right away—but repeated with intention, they can truly become anchors.

Working externally doesn’t mean pursuing an ideal. It means caring for the body you have with respect and consistency. Moving in ways that feel good—not punishing. Feeding yourself in a way that nourishes—not restricts. Dressing in a way that makes you feel like you—not like you’re hiding or squeezing into a trend.

I can say first hand that there’s something powerful about strength training, dancing, stretching, or walking—not because of how your body will look, but because of how it feels. Hydrating, sleeping well, getting outside—these aren’t just wellness buzzwords. They are acts of care that help reconnect you to your physical self. And over time, those small, consistent actions can rebuild a sense of safety and pride in your body

This work—internal and external—is a practice, not a destination. I notice that some days I feel great! And then there are some days, not so much. But over time, with patience and compassion, you’ll notice the inner critic gets quieter, and the connection gets stronger.

You’ll realize: Confidence isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. And your body—exactly as it is—deserves to be lived in, loved, and respected, from the inside out. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com

Body Confidence

Body Confidence in the Age of Constant Reflection (and Menopause)

I recently listened to a podcast by Mel Robbins, and something she said hit me hard: we were never really meant to see ourselves this much. She was talking about how, for most of human history, we didn’t spend hours a day looking at our own reflections. But now, between selfies, Zoom meetings, FaceTime, and social media, we’re constantly confronted with our image—often in unflattering lighting and from awkward angles.

And she’s right. It makes sense why so many of us feel more self-conscious than ever. We’re watching ourselves in real time, judging every wrinkle, every bulge, every perceived imperfection. And who really posts a “bad” photo? I know I don’t. I take one, two, sometimes ten photos, trying to find that perfect angle. I ask myself: Do I look tired? Do I look bloated? Is this outfit working? Nine times out of ten, I delete the photo anyway because it never quite feels “good enough.”

If I’m being completely honest, and this is not easy to admit- I’ve become more preoccupied with how I look as I’ve gotten older—not less. I always thought this part of life would come with more self-assurance, a kind of “take me or leave me” attitude. But in reality, going through menopause has challenged my body confidence in ways I didn’t expect.

My body is changing. The weight isn’t coming off like it used to. My skin feels different. My hair is thinning. I’ve gone from feeling strong and in control to wondering what’s happening to the person in the mirror. And when those changes are paired with a culture obsessed with youth, beauty, and curated images, it can feel like a double blow.

But here’s what I’m learning, slowly and imperfectly: my body is not betraying me—it’s transitioning. It was a long time ago, but just like puberty was a shift into womanhood, now menopause is a shift into a different kind of strength. It’s not easy. Some days I feel uncomfortable in my skin. Some days I long for the body I used to have. But I’m also starting to understand that confidence at this stage isn’t about looking the same as I did ten or twenty years ago. It’s about redefining what beauty and self-worth look like now. And I can tell you, I am really trying hard to lean into this new identity.

I want to leave behind the version of me who judges herself in every photo or cringes at her reflection on a Zoom screen. She’s tired. She deserves compassion. She deserves rest. And honestly? She deserves to be free.

So I’m choosing to see my body differently. To thank it for carrying me through sleepless nights, hormonal roller coasters, and decades of life. I’m learning to be kinder to her, even when she doesn’t fit the mold. Because maybe real body confidence isn’t about loving every part of ourselves all the time—it’s about accepting ourselves enough to live fully anyway.

To any woman reading this who feels a little lost in her changing body: I see you. You are not alone. This phase of life can feel disorienting, like a stranger in your own skin. You are still vibrant, valuable, and beautiful—maybe even more so. You are not less- you are becoming- still! As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com