Permission to Pause: A Wednesday in the Mess
It was a Wednesday afternoon, and my day felt like a juggling act that had gone a little sideways. I had a few loads of laundry to do. My phone kept buzzing with reminders: pick up something for dinner, confirm an appointment, reply to a friend who had left me a voicemail. A work project sat open on my laptop, but every time I typed a sentence, I’d remember something else I was supposed to be doing.
And to be fair, none of it was dramatic. Just the ordinary stuff of life piling up in the middle of a week.
At some point, I caught myself moving from task to task without really finishing anything. I’d open the fridge, close it, shuffle a pile of mail from one counter to another, check my email, and then immediately forget what I was looking at. That hamster-wheel kind of busyness where you’re expending a lot of energy but not actually getting anywhere.
That’s when I did something that felt almost rebellious: I went for a walk and sat down on a park bench. With nothing in my hands, just a bottle of water.
Of course, the guilt showed up right on time. Really? You’re just sitting here? It’s Wednesday afternoon. People are working, errands aren’t done, and you’re sitting in the park? The voice was sharp, insistent, and familiar.
But here’s the truth: I was tired. Not collapse-into-bed tired, but the kind of tired where your brain feels foggy, where even simple tasks feel heavier than they should. I realized I could keep pushing through, but the quality of whatever I did next would probably suffer. So I stayed put, even as that guilty voice chattered on.
And you know what? Sitting outside in the fresh air, I started to breathe a little deeper. My shoulders dropped. The frantic energy slowed. It wasn’t glamorous. I didn’t suddenly feel serene or enlightened. But I felt steadier.
We don’t talk much about this kind of rest, the ordinary, unpolished pauses in the middle of chaos. It’s easier to romanticize downtime when it looks like a quiet weekend away or a cozy retreat. But most of us don’t get that kind of rest on a Wednesday. What we get are stolen moments: five minutes on the couch, an extra lap around the block, letting ourselves put the phone on silent for half an hour.
I’m learning those messy pauses matter too. They remind me I don’t have to earn rest by finishing everything first. They remind me that downtime doesn’t cancel my responsibilities, it actually helps me return to them with more clarity.
So yes, the laundry is still waiting to get washed. The emails still needed answers. Dinner ended up being grilled cheese and salad, and it was more than fine. But after that pause, I had enough energy to tackle one thing at a time instead of spinning in circles.
Sometimes, “doing nothing” in the middle of the week is exactly the something we need most.
What about you? Do you ever just stop in the middle of a busy day, even when the to-do list is screaming at you? I’d love to hear the little ways you carve out downtime. Is it messy, imperfect, or otherwise. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to support you. If you’d like to explore working together, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com.