There was a time when I was a teen that I didn’t like being so tall and everyone thought that resembled Twiggy, the 60’s cultural icon. Even at a young age, I believed my body’s value was directly tied to how I looked, specifically, how thin I was. Smaller jeans, smaller meals, smaller presence. I chased “skinny” like it was a prize—like achieving it would unlock some lasting confidence or peace.
Spoiler alert: it didn’t.
Thankfully that was a long time ago.
Now, in this season of my life, I’m unlearning that old definition of success and replacing it with something more sustainable—healthy. Not “clean eating” obsessed or hyper-disciplined fitness routines, but true, holistic well-being. The kind that asks, How do I feel today? Not, How do I look?
Because here’s the truth I’ve come to: skinny doesn’t always mean healthy. And healthy doesn’t always mean skinny.
This shift didn’t happen overnight. It came from years of work. I can breathe with confidence that I have finally learned to quiet my inner critic. It came from watching my body change through the various stages of hormonal life like perimenopause, menopause and recovery and realizing that what I really wanted wasn’t to look like I used to, but to feel good in my body again.
These days, I move my body not to burn calories or to shrink it, but to support it. I strength train because I love feeling strong and want to lift my cases of water and groceries without strain. I walk because fresh air feels good and I love smelling the flowers (despite my seasonal allergies!). I stretch because I need to warm my body up and metaphorically speaking “flexibility is freedom”. And I eat not to be “good,” but to feel nourished, clear-headed, and stable.
There’s joy in this kind of care! A quiet confidence that doesn’t depend on fitting into an old dress or jeans or last summer's bathing suits, but feeling a sense of liberation from the constraints of diet culture.
And let me say this clearly: you can want to feel good in your body without punishing it.
You can prioritize health without chasing thinness.
You can appreciate your body’s softness and its strength.
You can opt out of the constant striving and still be committed to care.
This mindset isn’t always celebrated. Even now, we’re flooded with messages telling us that smaller is better, that youth equals beauty, that menopause means decline. But I believe we’re allowed to rewrite the story. We’re allowed to say: my body is not a project. It’s my home. And I’m learning how to take better care of it—not because it needs fixing, but because it deserves my attention.
So if you’re tired of chasing skinny, I see you. I’ve been there. And I can tell you—there’s another way. It’s slower. Gentler. Quieter. And it’s also more lasting.
Let’s stop asking, “How do I look?” and start asking, “How do I feel?”
Let that be your new metric. Let that be your new motivation. As a licensed Clinical Behavioral Therapist and Intuitive Eating Counselor, I’m here to help you integrate these practices into your life. If you're interested in working with me, feel free to reach out at rachel@livehealthynyc.com